VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
