The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
