get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
