his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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