I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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