That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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