I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
