well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
too bad you live with your parents still
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Randomize
