i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
