Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
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Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
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There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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