he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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