she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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