think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I don't deserve a penis
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
