id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
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