She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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