its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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