just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
