HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
