Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
