So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
