Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
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