I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Randomize
