I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize