Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
