You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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