Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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