I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
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