i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
where does the pee come out of this thing
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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