I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
he thought i was a dude.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
