hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize