Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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