god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
