if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
