So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
