I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Still dying that you shit outside
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
