Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
