What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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