We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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