Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
i've created a new STD.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
