turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Randomize
