Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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