You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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