it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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