i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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