butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
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