i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
