yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
