How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
