around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
