I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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