so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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