I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
