I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
