I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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