Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...

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(202): You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell... http://tfl.nu/oe10

Replies (8) Good night (540) Bad night (1808) Order T-Shirt
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(714): View more from California

DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"

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(714): DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job" http://tfl.nu/slki

Replies (24) Good night (1063) Bad night (3166) Order T-Shirt
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(641): View more from Iowa

i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..

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(641): i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door.. http://tfl.nu/c547

Replies (20) Good night (573) Bad night (4263) Order T-Shirt
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(606): View more from Kentucky

you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later

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(606): you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later http://tfl.nu/ipo7

Replies (26) Good night (1704) Bad night (4697) Order T-Shirt
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(860): View more from Connecticut

Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?

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(860): Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too? http://tfl.nu/bk9g

Replies (3) Good night (3240) Bad night (577) Order T-Shirt
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(318): View more from Louisiana

I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.

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(318): I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter. http://tfl.nu/35y3

Replies (11) Good night (3815) Bad night (833) Order T-Shirt
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(773): View more from Illinois

His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.

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(773): His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant. http://tfl.nu/ofzk

Replies (24) Good night (1979) Bad night (3902) Order T-Shirt
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(505): View more from New Mexico

I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation

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(505): I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation http://tfl.nu/u5tc

Replies (12) Good night (1013) Bad night (3038) Order T-Shirt
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(863): View more from Florida

I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.

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(863): I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous. http://tfl.nu/l7hq

Replies (7) Good night (2074) Bad night (801) Order T-Shirt
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(812): View more from Indiana

You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch

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(812): You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch http://tfl.nu/d9ik

Replies (3) Good night (1522) Bad night (351)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.

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(843): Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho. http://tfl.nu/pobq

Replies (9) Good night (1539) Bad night (403) Order T-Shirt
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(613): View more from Ontario

Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?

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(613): Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like? http://tfl.nu/rl24

Replies (8) Good night (1890) Bad night (634) Order T-Shirt
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.

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(202): This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point. http://tfl.nu/l1mt

Replies (10) Good night (2382) Bad night (781) Order T-Shirt
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Let's get weird.

(608): View more from Wisconsin

It's 10 am...

(920): View more from Wisconsin

I'm assuming that means you're not busy...

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(920): Let's get weird. (608): It's 10 am... (920): I'm assuming that means you're not busy... http://tfl.nu/aihn

Replies (3) Good night (1282) Bad night (218)
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(443): View more from Maryland

Something about Sunday night screams phone sex

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(443): Something about Sunday night screams phone sex http://tfl.nu/g1ms

Replies (1) Good night (338) Bad night (133) Order T-Shirt

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