since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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