JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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