Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Randomize
