Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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