its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I will be naked everywhere
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
