dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
